What's in a Ginger? Dissecting My Life Long Love of Redheads.

I have moved to the land of them, gingers that is. And I'm a little overwhelmed with my surroundings to be quite honest. Ireland is 60% male between the ages of 20 and 35. This fact is proven any night of the week that I visit my local pub to find the tables have turned, myself one of 3 or 4 women in a room full of men. About 30% of these men are gingers, meaning they have red(dish), perhaps auburn or strawberry blond, hair. Keep in mind, 1-2% of the world's population has red hair, which actually means about 6% of Europeans and 5% of the Americans. Red hair exists because of a plethora or pheomelanin, as opposed to eumelanin, which causes both blond and brunette hair. As I have witnessed in some Bog People and mummies, Pheomelanin doesn't break down quite as easily as eumelanin, and therefore dead people often have reddish hair (if there was any pheomelanin there to begin with). Interesting facts!

Furthermore, if you are an anesthesiologist or surgeon, you know that Redheads require more anesthesia than other humans, which supports my belief that they are aliens. Additionally,  I don't know how or when these studies happened, but somehow we also know that redheads have a higher pain tolerance, as far as electro-shock and needles go. Frightening. Regardless of these scientific facts, they've always a certain allure for me. In fact, one just sat down across from me in the window of this Starbucks. I will consider him my muse for the duration...This blog post is mostly an exercise in understanding my own laws of attraction, so I'm going to go back to the very beginning. Feel free to come along!

1998: My first love. This is me at 18. Five years into my relationship with this fiery redhead, and 3 years away from its demise. For a while I thought it all started here, and wouldn't that be romantic? But if I really think about it, then we're going back TEN more years. But before I "dig up" the past, as I am want to do, I'll let Adele do the talking... I've never really had the words for this one, anyway. Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. 

1988: Danny Kaye. There's nothing else to say. What an epic actor with an epic voice. If there's anything I can't resist more than a ginger with a beard, it's ginger who can SING. Check out my favorite song from 1952's Hans Christian Andersen. And please don't doubt that I will be belting this from a similar ship when I visit Copenhagen in the spring...

Danny Kaye was a New York Jew who had my heart from a young age. We was married to a fellow New Yorker, but commonly thought of as bisexual, and possibly had a 10 year relationship with Sir Laurence Olivier, the husband of Vivien Leigh, the tiny British actress made famous by her role as "Scarlet" in Gone With The Wind.  Yes, a Brit played Scarlet. Ah, small world. It should be noted, though, not all redheads are Irish. The hair color is just as common in Eastern Europe, and that's exactly where Danny Kaysinsky's parents were from :)

Chasen Hampton From "The All New Mickey Mouse Club"

1989: Pre-School. Charles Melvin. It would be way too creepy to get a photo of him off the internet, but trust me. This guy is still a ginger. I know I throw epic birthday parties, but my 5th might've been my best. It was a costume party, and I wore this amazing cream-coloured, puff sleeve, princess dress, with huge pearl and diamond earrings and a gold tiara delicately balanced on my wild dark curls. Charles was a Cowboy, naturally. Red hair poking out of a red hat. We were perfect. Maybe somewhere he's reading this right now?

 1990: Alright, the plot thickens. I had to do some SERIOUS digging to pull this one out, but here you have it: Chasen Hampton (strangely enough, Chasen is the aforementioned ex-boyfriend's middle name) or CHASE! from the Mickey Mouse Club. I had it bad for this guy, and my sister can attest to the fact. While most little girls and pre-pubescents daydreamed of fellow Mickey Mouse Club alum,Damon Pampolina, hello?! I preferred this slightly goofy looking redhead. Inexplicable.

Someone give Mark Wahlberg an Oscar already

1991: Favorite New Kid on the Block? Donnie. Though I have suspicions that this was only because I wanted to be like Tricia Ann. But you don't. want. to. get. me. started. on the Wahlberg brothers because I WONT WANT TO STOP. I'll just let you continue to believe that I moved to Boston to work at a place called "MATCH Highschool"

1992/3: My I Love Lucy obsession begins. And though this lovable redhead is probably the only woman I would give up men for, I'm talking about her friend, and constant "special guest," Red Skelton. I love this picture, and most of all, I love them. They met doing Vaudeville shows together in Manhattan in the 1940s, and Lucy had him on her show multiple times. I can just image Desi Arnez losing his Cuban temper upon witnessing their fiery chemistry. I loved watching them be silly together, and when it comes down to it, all other things aside: red hair, good dancer, nice voice, tons of money...we just want to be with someone who makes us giggle because life is serious enough. As a strange 8 year old (and I was the strangest), I loved talking to my Dad about Red Skelton's variety show from the 50's so much that I actually did a report on his life and performance art in the 3rd grade :)


1996: I don't know why I watched The Way We Were when I was 11, but it inspired a whole slew of Robert Redford movies to follow. Personal favorites? #1 would have to be the Academy Award winner from the year I was born, Out of Africa, followed closely, if not disturbingly by Indecent Proposal, but The Way We Were was my first taste of this immortally gorgeous heartthrob. I know that his hair is sort of Strawberry blond, and I don't want to open that bag of worms, so let me stop there with this awesome clip--Gotta love a ginger with strong political views. Out of Africa, take it away....

1999: Odysseus. Everyone knows that The Odyssey is my favorite epic, and one of my favorite things to teach. Other than his occasional lust and infidelity, Odysseus is the ideal guy for me. When he returns back to Ithaca after 20 years of being gone, the goddess Athena renders his appearance youthful once more (You're welcome, Penelope!) Homer describes Odysseus's hair as being fire colored like orange "hyacinth." This is a puppet that one of my freshmen made last year. He's on my vanity to remind me of my chillens in Siler City, and the whole point of the journey: to return home a bit wiser and better for your travels.

Holy Pajoly.

Current: Well, that's a little too personal, don't you think? I will say that I have moved to the right place, as far as being surrounded by what I find most physically appealing. Truthfully, I don't think there's an explanation for my ginger fetish. I mean, red hair IS a genetic mutation, that is in fact, getting rarer and rarer as time goes on. There was even an article published in the National Geographic about the possibility of Redheads dying out by 2500. Maybe it's the exoticism that I'm drawn to, or maybe there is just a connotation of red hair with a certain fieriness and passion that I want matched in my life--I know that has definitely been true of the redheads I've known-- Bottom line is, I don't think it's the physical feature that draws me to gingers--I think it's a certain "Joie de vivre" or confidence that a lot of them exude. I've never been wooed by a pretty face, but I do succumb to a dazzling personality, and maybe (just maybe) the redhead community is more densely populated with such charmers. We'll see!

I'll leave you with my favorite song from my favorite indy rock band based out of Brooklyn--The National led by the beautiful, nay, I dare say perfect looking (and sounding) Matt Berringer...